Man Cuts off His Own P***s in Protest of College Campus Rapes

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p***s(UR) A Florida man cut off his own p***s to protest what he calls “r**e culture” on American college campuses.

Though Timmy Adams, 27, says he’s never even thought about raping anyone himself, he says he was inspired to chop his own d**k off by recent videos posted online of people who never shot anyone cutting the barrels of their rifles off in protest of gun violence.

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“It makes perfect sense,” the male feminist and hipster told us at press time, “It’s #OneLessPenis that could be possibly used to r**e someone even though I know I would never do that.”

He also told reporters that penises over eight inches long should be banned because they could be used in mass rapings more effectively than regular-sized dicks.

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In what many would call a miracle, Timmy’s female partner (girlfriend) became pregnant shortly after Adams removed his johnson.

Satire / Underground Reporter

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