As we all know that payment of bride price is tradition and it is expected to be adhere to. But most times most people are not capable of meeting up with the items given because it is quite on a high side. But now some men are expecting the ladies to negotiate with their family to cut down the cost, but can tradition be negotiated. In another angle, ladies are being expected to support their spouse in terms of expenses during marriage preparation. Ladies should make their men go bankrupt just because they want an elaborate wedding.
Relationship Counselor, Allison Hyacintho took to his Facebook page to dish out his thoughts on bride price and support during marriage preparation.
Here’s what he has to say:
I’m sorry, but if I had a nicer way to say this I would, I guess you guys already know that I am a blunt teacher, I don’t know how to sugarcoat the word even when I try.
Look aunty, if you cannot go behind and negotiate with your family to cut down the items on your bride price you are a WITCH!
If you sit there quietly and allow your people slaughter your man with items that your ancestors cannot provide you are a WITCH!
If you are comfortable with your man emptying his account and swallowing up his savings to afford your pride price you are a WITCH!
If you support him taking a loan to buy 5 cows for your father and bicycles for all the elders in your village in the name of tradition you are a WITCH!
If you’re a Christian supporting your father who is asking your man to bring 50 crates of beer as dowry because he wants to open a brewery in his village then you are a Christian WITCH!
If you are not saving any cash on the side to support your man by at least buying your own wedding dress you are a WITCH!
If you allow him buy things on credit to give you a big wedding you are a big WITCH!
If you’re still single working towards marriage and you don’t have friends who will support your wedding even if it is to sponsor your wedding cake just know that you are an upcoming WITCH!
If you’re planning to sell your asoebi 20k and keep malice with people who cannot afford it my sister Just forget it, you have the spirit of WITCHCRAFT!
Some sisters will even allow a man pay her bride price with his pension, and then go back to square one after the wedding, my sister it is in you like peak milk, WITCHCRAFT is your hobby.
Hmmm, when you’re marrying into a family of believers you just know it, the first thing you notice is that they are not subject to their tradition, but rather, tradition is subject to them, they determine what is and what isn’t, they seive out what’s necesary and what isn’t, they clean up every form of idolatory from the tradition before they respect it, you just know it. You look at the items on the bride price and smile, not even because you can afford it, but because what you are required to bring does not go against your Christian faith… Not to sound too new fashioned but if I have to bring 7 bottles of dry gin and a white cock with 3 pieces of uncircumcised bitter kola to your father as part of the dowry then I know that I have a lot of prayers to do, fasting and vigils will not be lacking in my home, you catch?
And when you’re marrying a believing woman too you just know it, apart from using prayers to make things easy for you with her family, she will also go behind to negotiate with them on your behalf, right from the first day things get serious she will start campaigning for you with her people, letting them know your financial capacity and how important it is for her that they welcome and threat you nice, even before you go show your face. She will start using gifts and different kinds of tricks to buy the heart of her parents and uncles which makes it easier for her to talk to them. Like, a believing woman has wisdom like that.
Hmmm, may God lead us to the right spouses and the right families in Jesus name. Amen.
See comments from the post :
I’ve gat no much words to say on this matter. But usually “bride prices” doesn’t cost much, especially here in the East. I don’t know about other places. And i think what makes it appear expensive generally are the items on the list which are subject to negociation depending on the tribe…because some tribes don’t even allow that. So Bro if you can afford what’s on the list then marry your wife, but if you can’t then go for places with lesser fin.involvement. There must be.If it took papa Jacob serving 14years to marry Racheal, you can do much more no matter the form of payment,provided it is legal. So keep the WITCH aspect aside mbok
Oga Allison Bisongs Hyacintho…don’t forget they r some women who have no say in their homes, some r even victims of circumstances….not everyone will intensionally set back and watch the head of her husband to be get slaughtered in d name of bride prove… Do not generalise that part..
This you r a witch kinda post is pushing the message overboard
I had to put my foot down on some of the demands my parents were making of my hubby then… I told them to only invite the people they could feed and that we were not going to carrying unnecessary feeding that day. I was sooo firm on that.
But hmmm… My uncles came with calculator n the trad wedding list that D-day…. That one pass my jurisdiction o..
But we shouldn’t in the name of Christianity, truncate some parts of the traditional wedding. My hubby had to monetize the things he didn’t buy.
I remember going to my father to tell him, that my husband just had a job and doesn’t have the money to pay for all the items in the list. Him been a pastor and a father he asked how much do you think we should put. I told him and he said ok and that was it. When my husband’s people came they were very happy. And the small he took my father took was given to his brothers , uncles n even neighbours. So left for him he was ok. But since the bible n tradition required you pay dowry so he had to take it somehow .
Faith Kezy Amba Janet Emmanuel come and hear something… Uncle Allison Bisongs Hyacintho I like this one pass” if u’re planning to sell your asoebii 20k and keep malice with people who cannot afford it my sister just forget it, you have a spirit of WITCHCRAFT!!
Allison bisongs hyacintho, this one was too harsh……… “””If you’re still single working towards marriage and you don’t have friends who will support your wedding even if it is to sponsor your wedding cake just know that you are an upcoming WITCH!”””
Agreed but to an extent . so if your wife doesn’t have friends to help her on her wedding, that makes her a witch? My answer is no . you are wrong on that. Don’t ever plan a wedding with promises of people to help. Plan ur wedding with what u have
Couldn’t agree less, this marriage list could be very alarming and heartbreaking sometimes
I smiled when i read the first paragraph. Thanks Allison. During my own traditional rites, i traveled to the village countless times cos to beg for this kind thing no be phone matter. I told dad point blank that whatever bad thing he does to Hottie would affect me badly emotionally. Haaa, being popsy’s fav baby, he took it easy jeje. I sat with the elders begging them to temper justice with mercy. They should not come and kill somebody’s son just because he wants to make me the queen of his glass house. Las las elders and dad considered hottie o, making things very smooth and easy. Hottie can’t stop thanking me…(that thanking dey sweet forget o) and saying i am the best ever… (shuu, bros e do na…hehehe).
Today, In-laws carry me like egg that shouldn’t be messed with just because i chook mouth for list. Chai my people, it is a very sweet something no controversy.
Agreed but not totally. Yes your right in some aspects u mentioned here but not all… Not having a friend who can sponsor your cake can’t make u a witch cos when u mentioned the name wedding it wasn’t to tax anyone they can decide on their own but if you don’t have such friends who can help u, you can’t been see as a witch… Another one yes it is okay and fine to save and help our men when preparing for a wedding but if as a bride you don’t have source of income or do not work, you can’t steal or sleep around just to please a man who should know your not helping not cos u don’t want to but cos you don’t have and can’t been tag as a witch like u stated so I disagree sir
This is witchcraft of the highest order o
Uncle ally keep being blunt me love it like that
Rotflmao. Who provoke Allison. Very worded post.
Verily verily I say unto thee, thou art a witch if you allow these things happen while ye watch.
Well ur financial capacity differs. Too not every tribe that a guy is away of what is in the list and beside how does not having a friend to sponsor your wedding cake makes u a witch? Hmmm…